Hannatu Musawa So, that constipated, arrogant and obnoxious blubbering militant, who seems to continuously consume extra bowls of foolish every morning, has taken it upon himself to attack General Theophilus Yakubu Danjuma GCON FSS psc (rtd)? 

Recently, General Danjuma ‘rightfully’ advised the Nigerian authorities to consider arresting some militants for making provocative pronouncements on the 2015 elections and threatening to plunge Nigeria into chaos, if President Jonathan was not re-elected come February 14th.

The militants General Danjuma was referring to included, the loudmouthed budding sociopath, who is the leader of the Niger Delta Peoples Volunteer Force (NDPVF), Victor Ben Ebikabowei, a.k.a, Boy Loaf, Government Ekpudomenowei, a.k.a., Tompolo, and some other individuals. 

On the 24th of this month, the militants and their supporters allegedly met at the Government House of Bayelsa State, where they were reported to have threatened to unleash violence on the country and take back their ‘My Oil, My Oil…’ Niger Delta, should President Jonathan lose the election. They also allegedly stated that any attempt to dethrone President Jonathan would be seen as a direct attack on the Ijaw nation. General Danjuma’s statement was made in response to this.

More than many, one fully understand the need to periodically ‘check’ some of our leaders and disrespectfully ask them to ‘take a seat,’ when they behave and speak out of turn! But when our seasoned statesmen necessarily and reasonably speak their truth, from a wealth of experience, it is proper to heed their words. So, when General Danjuma gave the appropriate and proper advise in relation to provocative statements made about the unity and security of Nigeria, it did not warrant the response given by ‘Mujahid I am the leader of the Niger Delta Peoples Volunteer Force.’ This ignorant and despicable Wally disrespectfully and unreasonably replied the General in the kind of opprobrious manner, which has now become his trademark.

Since this Yeti stumbled onto the public scene by ‘starting at the bottom… it has been downhill ever since!’ The Nonsense-Level of this, one man is so overwhelming, it is almost unbelievable! Notwithstanding the fact that he appears to be getting up on the wrong side of his cage every morning, for him to make the kind of threats he has been making to Nigerians and address General Danjuma in the way he did, this unpalatable figure must have a very, very low opinion of Nigerians… if he really thinks they are his equals!

It is an insult to any reasonably minded person that cherishes Nigeria for this ridiculously misinformed nut case to think that he can continue to publicly threaten Nigerians and square up to a decorated Nationalist, such as General Danjuma. Imagine him chiding and insulting the General and humanitarian; an elder statesman; a talented soldier and veteran of the Nigerian civil war, who patriotically fought to see that the unity of Nigeria remained intact, and who also led a battalion that freed Jaja Wachuku, first speaker of the House of Representatives? Imagine him spewing hate against the first Nigerian Ambassador to the UN and first foreign affairs minister; former platoon commander in our peacekeeping efforts in the Congo; former chief of army staff (1975 1979); former Minister of Defence (1999-2003)? Imagine this yob insulting an accomplished entrepreneur; Chairman of the Presidential Advisory Council, nominated by president Jonathan in 2010; current Chairman of the Victims Support Fund Committee, which supports the victims of terror attacks by insurgents; and the founder of the T.Y Danjuma foundation, which seeks to alleviate poverty in communities by providing basic amenities, education for children and young adults, and providing free medical care for indigent people? 

What has this unsavory character done for this country lately? What has he ever done for this great country of ours? What has been his contribution to the unity and development of Nigeria? Not until a few years ago, this clueless individual was a mere university dropout, perhaps, paddling a Leaky-Canoe in the creeks of the most rustic part of his village. When he entered politics, he woefully failed at both attempts, running for two offices in Rivers State in 1992 and 1998, before he infamously rose to prominence when he founded the NDPVF, which emerged as the major catalyst for unrest in the Niger-Delta region. It was then he began violently terrorizing oil installations and oil companies, attacking oil wells and pipelines in the region. If it were any other country, this indeterminable nugget would likely have faced or be facing war crimes charges, crimes against humanity or crimes against constituted authority. 

Even though this aggressor’s mind is probably sprained and not just twisted, one can be sure that, even his basic comprehension must have understood that President Jonathan is the President of Nigeria and not only the Ijaw-Nation. To any reasonably minded person, lawfully, morally, patriotically and personally, it is in order for General Danjuma, an accomplished and seasoned statesman, to call on the authorities and security agencies to take interest in miscreants who are threatening the unity of our country. It is expected for a man of General Danjuma’s standing to do so. The threats by ethnic bigots, like Mujahid Tyrant, supposedly claiming to represent the Ijaw nation, are capable of plunging the country into further chaos and war. It certainly is not out of context for the General to advise on the arrest of identifiable people making provocative statements, especially given the fact that the Nigerian police force and the State Security Service had earlier threatened that they would move against anyone who makes inciting statement in the run up to the February election. With the tense and ominous atmosphere in this election period, such statements by supposed ex-militants or anyone else are uncalled for.

This dismal example of a freedom fighter masquerading as an ethnic champion has been very vociferous, threatening violence if the president, who is also of Ijaw extraction, is not re-elected. Does this vindictive, close-minded coward not know that, in a democracy, public officials are elected into office through elections and via ballot boxes? Is his brain so filled with ‘false’ images of the ‘black gold’ in his father’s backyard that he fails to comprehend, with over 170 million people, 250 ethnic groups and about 774 local government areas, Nigeria does not belong to any region, ethnic group or tribe? Is he too darn thick to understand that, him, his threats and myopic rants have contributed to alienating every part of Nigeria that isn’t Ijaw? Does this fool not get that the disdain some feel towards the President is caused as a direct result of his outbursts? As daft as he must be, even, he must know that, come February 14, the next president of Nigeria will be decided by the totality of the Nigerian people and not some glorified ethic bigot with his caricature threats! Should President Jonathan loose the elections, one hopes that this unpleasant character will find the courage to go back to base and explain to his brethren how his reeking diarrhea of the mouth might have contributed in messing up President Jonathan’s chances!

If his current intention is to stand and speak for the rights of a regional interest, he has managed to do even more damage to his interest than the barbaric bomb strapping lunatic mass-murderers in the North East, with outrageous delusions of a New Caliphate. His constant and consistent threats are indeed punches to his interest. As far as his actions, my sympathies go to those he ‘supposedly’ stands for and to President Jonathan. By opening his humungous gob the way he does, this simian has done so much damage to them. And as a President who, in the last six years, has been very understanding, generous and lenient with him, President Jonathan deserves so much more than the negative baggage that this militant is stacking on his doorstep. 

Honestly, if one didn’t know any better, they could be excused for mistaking this loud mouth as a spy for the opposition, an advocate for President Jonathan’s political rivals. Every time he opens his mouth, he scores an own goal and advances the chances for the opposition to win the upcoming election. In a cruel irony of life, his actions are much more beneficial to the Northern Hausa Fulani and the opposition, which he seems to despise so, than they are to the interests he claims to speak for. If, in the upcoming elections, the opposition is victorious and a Hausa Fulani emerges as the victor, it should be nationally recognized that this genius played a large part in making it so.

If only this moron could take a minute and reflect on how different his effect and influence could have been Nationally. Having the rare combination of being a Muslim from the South-South region, this militant could have been a Nigerian bridge builder for all of his interests, had he chosen peace and love instead of hate and conflict. This ungrateful biped was once looked upon as a champion to the majority of Northern Muslims. He was once a voice that many Northerners identified with and listened to. He could have been one of the greatest assets, as opposed to being a liability, to President Jonathan and to all his other interests in the run up to this election, if he had just conducted himself in a decent and respectable manner, instead of trying to berate and belittle other human beings and Nigerians who have the same struggles that the people he speaks for have. He had the potential of having a strong cult following had he just restrained himself from lunging onto our T.V screens issuing generic, irrational threats while spitting at the poor journalists trying to interview him. 

He has managed to, single handedly, incur the wrath of virtually every regional group and socio-cultural association across Nigeria. From the Middle Belt Forum, to the Arewa Consultative Forum (ACF), to the Yoruba Youth Congress (YYC), to almost every regional interest, including some from the South-South, this Basket-Case has been asked to stop overheating the polity. Time and time again, leaders, civilians and groups have been pleading with him to tone down his excesses and be careful with his utterances, as it was capable of setting in more sentiments and crisis that would not be beneficial to the country. 

The utterance of this hate-filled bigot, spewing venom with a complete disrespect for anything and anyone that represents the variety and beautiful diversity of Nigeria, is appalling and unacceptable.  He exhibits how deep in the trenches of absurdity and hate some Nigerians have descended. Anyone who encourages the loathsome cause of hate and fear that this bully is exhibiting cannot be working for the betterment of this country. The kind of radicalization of ethnic allegiances he disgorges has gotten so disgustingly out of control, it is high time for the authorities to take the advise of General Danjuma and, literally, ‘arrest’ this erratic behavior. It is time for the authorities to put a stop to anyone and everyone in this country who continues to stir up mobs and engages in the kind of scare tactics that this cretin does.

Just as he has the right to support President Jonathan for another term in office, many other teeming Nigerians also have the right to support and vote for any of the other current presidential aspirants of their choice. A single individual cannot vociferously continue to threaten the unity of our country while nothing is done to stem it.

There is nothing wrong with standing for the rights of any interest, especially if they feel and are disenfranchised. One just wishes this Humpty Dumpty had found a way to express his concerns without giving the impression that he had no raising and without behaving as if he belonged in a cage. There is no doubt that poster child of shame is a hungry empty vessel that makes the loudest noise, suffering from a chronic inferiority complex so dire it has morphed into a hatred that has eaten so deeply into his heart that it has now turned him into a borderline sociopath; and he is a huge ugly embarrassment to this country!

The current insurgency in the Northeastern part of the country has lingered on for this long because it wasn’t accordingly nipped at the bud. Failure to reprimand and arrest a violence prone terrorist that this militant is, for his constant incisive and divisive statements, might come to haunt the country in the nearest future.

Similar to the murdering Nigerian Insurgents, I choose not to mention the name of this terrorist in my articles. I feel by mentioning their names, I somehow legitimize, recognize and blow life into their dangerously wicked course. Before writing this piece, I had even resolved never to make this particular imbecile the subject of any of my articles. That was until I broke my undertaking with this piece. “But, hey, don’t blame me. In times of great emergency, it sometimes becomes necessary to write about an idiot, like an idiot because otherwise, that idiot wouldn't understand me.”

If one had a chance to give Brother-Man three pieces of advise, the first would be, for him to go on a very strict diet of mind, mouth and body! “He could do with missing a meal.”

The second would be to remove the oil-laden chip from his shoulder and get with the program; “Yes, there may be oil shooting out of this Tyrants great-great grand father’s 

Compound; but guess what brother? …No one cares!” 

“The whole of Nigeria, including WE, “the lazy, Hausa-Foolani nomadic, almajirai, illiterate, pretentious, backward, wicked, Abokis, Haramites, slaves, Parasites, ‘Oh, I almost forgot;’ sheep, donkeys and goats (as in census counting), with our bushness and outrageous born to rule mentality, ARE ALL benefiting enormously from the wealth oozing directly out of his land. Cheers! But as we thank you for the favor you generously bestow on us ‘Great One,’ one must say; It is what it is mate! Get over it already, and turn to the next page…!”

The last is probably the most important to him, most valuable to President Jonathan and most useful to Nigeria. It would be, whenever this Paragon of Buffoonery feels like he has something to say, he should try and remember to raise his largest hand while putting together his sausage fingers and ever so carefully and tightly… place it over his humungous mouth and keep it there! 

In every one of our journeys, we eventually learn that there are times in a person’s life when one instinctively knows when to sit still, keep their mouth shut and remain schtump. Marshmallow man must have missed that memo… One hopes he gets it now!

With any luck, this annoyingly pesky monstrosity will stop his unbearably vociferous loud noise, embrace peace and do some SOUL-SEARCHING…. Maybe he'll eventually find one! *Fingers crossed*


Hannatu Musawa

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